So I write Mother a letter:

Rifle Paper Co. - Just a Little Note CardThis letter is to put everything to bed.

Not sweeping it under the carpet anymore, because, it keeps coming up.

I am ready to let you go. I am ready to accept that you are no longer. You are taken from the Earth.

That, mind you, does not take away the amount of respect I have for you.

The amount of appreciation I now have and the value of the miss I have in my heart and my life for you.

This, only, just lets you leave my mind because I need to use it everyday.

And puts you out of my heart, and puts you in my soul. Which is a much better place.

Mother of mine.

I remember, at your funeral how much of me died. Lol, so much of me died with you.

I remember seeing your dead body, andΒ  could not see your legs, only your cold face. That did not allow me to believe that you were dead.

I remember telling all my friends that I believe that you are not dead. I thought one day soon, you would show up and say: β€œwhy you crying? I’m here.”

I remember how you never came back.

(Taking a break)

(I’m back)

I remember how I become a child again when I think about you. I go all the way to 1995. I remember one day of that year. That’s when I knew that you were my pillar, and that you were never to leave me.

I made a mistake. My heart held onto that fact: that you were my pillar and you were never to leave.

And now it knows nothing else.

Heart, please, let it go!

I remember the day you past. I was at school, I was angry at my boyfriend, I was adement to go to gym, I solved a riddle out of the blue. I was dark. I was honestly sad…I had not heard the news yet.

I remember how I was last to know.

I remember how strong Keabetswe was,

I remember my weakness.

I remember how I laughed everyday and tried to look for clues of where they had hidden you…

I have stopped searching.

I remember how you have still not come back…

(taking a break…never to come back.)


4 thoughts on “So I write Mother a letter:

  1. Kats, Kea, Sedi,God never puts a load that he knows you can’t handle, I look back to that day and it still brings pain to me. You guys have out stood all traps set against you, Kea,”lil sis” I’m proud of how strong u were n still are, kats, ur fighting spirit is something that amazes me, I keep praying for you guys always, God loves you, I love you,we all thanda yal (crying)… Mommy STILL loves you

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